17 December 2009

It's sickening.


It's tiring.

It's killing.

Truly hate the feelings when parents still continue to talk with their knives.

Why is your course so troublesome? Why do you have to buy a new laptop? What is the problem with slow computer? Why do you have to stay up late? Why do you have so many assignments? Why do you have to stay back for meetings? You are not even working! Why do you have MEETINGS? How did you spoil your computer? You must have done something to it. I don't wanna listen to you. I don't wanna hear. The best is you stop studying this course.


And


What do you want me to do besides studying design?

Can't you see my hard work? Can't you see how much I love this course? You guys don't even try to understand how I feel. And who are you to doubt me? You are my parents. But you can't control what I love to do and how I want to feel. You guys set so many house rules for me. I obey. What else do you want??? Worst is that when I was laughing when I chatted with my friends, you scolded me for laughing! What the heck? I thought you should be happy to see that your daughter is happy. But, not! You guys feel that it is ridiculous to laugh. It is ridiculous to feel happy. And, drawing is useless to you guys. Wait! You don't even look at what I am drawing. Who are you to doubt my future? Hey! I know my standard okay! I ain't doing bad in any of my subjects in college! I tried my very best to succeed in all the subjects. Can't you see through my results? You think those good results come without any hard work? You guys really think so, don't you?? What the! I was trying to explain to you guys the problems I am facing. But what I got in return was your hurtful words and your ignorance! Why do I have to face all these? And see. Going to library to read and look for more reference is GOOD! I don't understand why you have to say NO to me when I said I wanna go to the school library to do my work. Why NO NO NO? Why everything that comes out from your mouth is NO? NO NO NO!!! Is that the only things you guys know how to say?

My day is as pathetic as it should be now. Thanks a lot for giving me such tough moments. And you guys were the ones that make me realize how much I love my course and how stubborn I can be to the things I really love. No one, not even my parents can tell me what I should and what I shouldn't love. I am nobody, but myself. I will stand even stronger after every fall.








Dennis Waitley

2 comments:

SingWeiwei ♥ said...

jj~ hehee.. here i come to u. =) well, u advise me b4 when i got such prob too. hehe.. same goes to u. do whatever u like. just go only. they will realise someday. bear with it. be tough be strong yea. jia you jia you. i support fully. XD

Christine LLT said...

Jian, one thing i can say is, you are very tough and all these made you more tough and stronger inwardly. It is difficult for outsiders to judge what you are facing/say about your problems because we need to get to your shoes to endure the pain. But above all and everything, do remember that there is someOne watching over us, our patience towards others,care, and passion towards something we like will be seen by Him.Though MAN did not see your efforts and hardwork, but all are being OBSERVED. Do things not to please man.

No matter how pain is the REAL life, we are brought to earth to experience, some might have wonderful life, some might have terrible once, but all will bring out different type of personality and attitude. You have endured pain at home, you are given friends to give you joy. When you have something lacked, you will get something to fullfill it. =)

Friends are always around you, they might be silent, or long lost, but they will be available to listen to you.

 
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