Miss Sunshine Says

It is rather rare for busy people like to me to realize that it's the last day of the month. Somehow, the number "31" just keep appearing in my mind. It is reminding me that it's another end of a month. *sigh* I can't exactly remember what I have done in this month. Everything seems to be too rapid and too blurred. Too many things happened in a short time. I just don't have the capability to capture all the happenings.

1st of October seems to be just yesterday. That was the day I recalled my dream. My dream- - - To be a successful graphic designer. *sigh* Spirit fading little by little as time pass by. Life in college is rather boring. Semester 2 is really really "boring-fying"! Ugh... Got assignments then do do do. What's the purpose of doing?? I don't even have the time to figure it out as I have spent the time on completing the assignment. Yea. Without even knowing what's the objective of doing it. =.=" The only subject that I find it meaningful is Language Communication Skill. I bet it's due to my interest towards Advertising course. I kinda interested in the subject. Other than this,... =.=.. Perhaps Drawing II is another subject that I really enjoy though I always have stiff shoulder due to long period of painting. Uhm.. I love to apply the colour for fun. XD.. Most of the colours that I applied are not logic ler. I prefer using the "luan-luan-lai" sense to paint the objects lor. Haha. The outcome is always the kind that I like also. I better appreciate every moment of painting in this sem. Doubt that I will have chances to paint that frequent in the future.


////

来得太快的东西会让我措手不及。慢点儿吧。。 就如九把刀所说的，"慢慢来比较快"。。 ^^

我真的真的很想呐喊。

我想我绝对有权力这么做吧。

今晚整9.30pm才到KTM站搭火车。 火车9.50pm才到。寂寞的时刻难免会让我反思回今天所发生的点点滴滴。

////

我用一整晚努力寻找灵感，看别人怎么画东西。。 用心的画。。画。。画。。。
人家却只用2小时的时间把我用5小时的东西给画出来。不止如此。人家还被老师大赞!!
相信这个世界就是有所谓"不公平"这件事。所以，我还是别耿耿于怀吧。。。

还有还有。。为什么我得为你们的不负责任给负起责任?我活着的原因是为你们服务的吗? 为什么要搞到我根本没有休息余地? 你们没说一定要我做。但是，你们的表情已经让我觉得就算推给你们做，你们也根本达不到应有的quality! 开会是开爽的吗? 很KNS咧!! 再惹我不爽的话，小心我当场翻桌!

////

我很懦弱! 我根本经不起这些考验! Assignment一直达不到自己的要求! 没有成就感的心情。。。 沮丧!

How should I conclude my week huh~~

After all, there were many many unlucky incidents that took place.
=( Not a satisfying History of Art and Design project
=( Not satisfied with Design II's marks
=( Totally had my mind blank out when I saw my Figure II's marks
=(Not satisfied with my Letterform's mind tuning's marks.
=( Lost the sense of painting today. =.= Apa jadi ni??
=( Had 30-40 mins wait for the KTM for twice in this week.
=( Extremely unmotivated+lazy

But but but,.... in spite of those unhappy things, there were some happy ones to balance up the overall.
=) There was someone who helped me out in something that I am weak of.
=) When I was so down, there was someone who called me over and over again to make sure I did not commit suicide!! XD.. Thanks a lot. I really feel so touched. It had been quite some time I feel being so concerned by my friend. Thanks for being such a great friend.
=) Audrey's message that came out of my surprise duh! Her lovely message arrived when I was so damn stressed! I couldn't help but to smile at the sms. ^^ Love ya gal~~
=) Went a little bit crazy in MSN with Linda. ==..Sometimes, I really wish she can be less lame. Haha!!
=) Many projects were approved without much obstacles. Design's maximalism, computer graphic's final, letterform's final~~ Yay!!
=) Actually, it was a great day today. ^^ Can't explain why. Maybe it's because of you. Maybe it's because of all of you. Maybe it's because of I myself.
//////// I think I seriously have started to forget someone. I consider that as a good news. Yeah.. I believe that he is just a passer-by in my life. I am wishing for right one to arrive. Cheers~~ ///////

Lalala~~ I am still in love with myself. =(^o^)=

Ngyehhh~~~

Miss Sunshine~~

I can't stop smiling when I think of you~~

很久没有说过自己心情很低落了。

嗯。。已经有一段时期了。 那段日子，就算过得不好，也苦笑着对自己说，"我很开心! 我很幸福! 不要难过!"

今天才发现到，那些不是乐观的想法，而是假坚强。

明明很不开心，还在那儿笑个屁。。

天天看麦兜，笑笑笑。。。笑完过后，低落感仿佛死而复生似的重新淹没我。

其实，真不应该伤心。真不应该败给命运。真不应该为了那笨蛋事件而沮丧!!

可是，我也只不过是个普通人。我不是铁人。我并没有大家想像的倔强。没有大家所想像的万能。今晚，就让我伤心个痛快吧~~~~

T__T

This is the cover of my History of Art and Design's Project 1. The outcome was just an average one. Nothing eye-catchy. It's rather hard to deny the fact that I am quite disappointed. *Gahhh*

Feeling kinda unmotivated this week. It has nothing to do with laziness I guess. It's plainly lack of motivation and encouragement.

Weeks back:
Input-90%

This week:
Input-40%

Therefore, the outcome for this week is definitely not as satisfying as the the previous weeks.

Gahhhh~~~

////////

Kinda hard to isolate the damned feelings. Sometimes, I get very sensitive with words spoken by others. Maybe they don't even mean to hurt me or what. But, I just felt kinda upset about that. Especially when I am all alone, I can't stop the flashbacks in my mind. I will continuously think back of what they've said. Was it me that got too sensitive over this matter or were they the ones that seriously never consider about how I feel? I just feel that they don't even think what they will feel if they were in my shoes. Sarcasms~ I won't say I hate it. But I truly truly dislike it deep down to the core. < width="425" height="344">

Starbucks, figure, pencil, layout pad and me.♥

My life is all about wait and wait and wait.

If I weren't good enough to manage my time, what will I end up with?

When I wake up in the morning, I wait for my brain to wake up.

When I am finally wide awake, I wait for my hand to warm up.

When my hand is finally warmed up, I wait for my eyes to interpret the rights and the wrongs.

When I have done the work, I have to wait for someone to fetch me to KTM station.

When I reach KTM station, I have to wait for the KTM to come.

When I am in KTM, I have to wait for it to reach Subang station.

When I reached Subang station, I have to wait for the bus to move.

When the bus reaches The One, I have to wait for my class to start.

When my class ends, I have to wait for someone to fetch me home or wait for bus to KTM station again.

The whole waiting process repeat over and over again.

I thought I am already used to it. But today, my mood is still affected by the waiting.

Gaghhh~~

[=_=]

Do you have experience wanting to do many many things all of a sudden?

Gurhh... I don't know what's in my blood now. I just feel very very overwhelmed by great graphic designs and inspiring Modern Arts. I want to do EVERYTHING now. ==.. I know I can't. I am just human. I need rest. I need to eat. I need to plan my time. And I need to do many many many human things that I feel they're totally unnecessary. Forgive me. I just hate to be a human. Grrr...

Since I am overly amazed now, I think I shall better move on with my piling-up assignments.

Chaoz...

Wow! It's another week again. But this week is a little bit too dramatic. =.=

First of all, the week started with a plan which is to prank my buddy, Fishcake who was turning 18 on Wednesday. Urh.. Everything went so dramatic just like real story. It really terrified me a little. I swear I won't participate in such prank anymore. Her birthday was sort of a little surprising one. Hope that she truly enjoy the "surprise". Haha. On her birthday itself, we went to watch G-Force. Perhaps I was too tired and sleepy. I slept in the middle of the show. =.=. It's just nothing that interest me.

Photos by C905 of the week:

Fishcake's pencil case and my stuff during History class.

My new sandals and Fishcake's new pair of shoes.

Curi-curi went to buy Fishcake's present.

On her birthday at McD. Wei ting wanna bash her up. XD

Sleeping beauty? Haha..

Sorry la. I every week also "buang" money kat sini.

This is my so-called budak la! Wear my Hello Kitty cap summore. ==

Anyway, I bet you guys have experience people "attacking" you on the road and asked for donation right? Damn! I have experienced this twice in a week. =.= I swear I will never donate again! Not that I am so bloody stingy. But, hey, if I were to donate RM10 each time I see those "kind-hearted" volunteers, I am gonna be so broke okay. And, I have to say, some of them are really rude and brainless. They are so desperate that I was so scared of them. Yesterday, I was in a hurry to the bus stop to get my father. Suddenly, I was stopped by a girl who identified herself as the China Press' volunteer. Okay. Then she started to explain to me about this family who is so poor. They need help and so on so forth. While she was explaining, another 3 workers walked towards me which make 4 VS. 1. How am I supposed to walk away in such condition. Then the volunteer took out the paper with the things where they write your name if you donated the money. The first piece of paper was all the RM50 ones. Wah lao! Siao ah! They really thought that I am filthy rich ka? I am just a student okay. I told them I don't have such big amount of money la. Then another bloody volunteer said, "Don't worry. You can actually go to the bank and withdraw money." Eloh! Excuse me. Who are you to give such suggestion? I find it rather brainless for a volunteer to say that. Then I said I have no ATM card. They gave me an unbelievable expression. @@ WTH? What? Is it necessary for a 18-year-old girl to have one? I really don't think so. Then, they started to take out the forms with the names of people who donated RM20 and RM10. I never had a chance to say anything or agree with them. They already said, "Okay ah. RM10 ya.. What's your name?" WALAOYEH!!! They are acting way too desperate!! Crazy CHINA PRESS!! These volunteers really spoil the reputation of China Press ler. I think they should really learn from Sin Chew. Sin Chew usually have this campaign in a way that people who wants to donate or help out can actually deliver a cheque or in any other way. But the way Sin Chew asked for help is just not like what China Press do. Btw, the volunteers should not "attack" the students. Instead, they should actually asked for help from those who are working. Imagine us, STUDENTS, we need money to get materials EVERY week and we need to spend money to eat, travel to college everyday, and so on so forth. ==. I am so sorry if I don't donate for the coming ones. I will do what I can when I have enough money to help out in the future.

Two exams tomorrow.. Lalalalalalalala~~~~

期望太高，失落感越强。 =_=" 非常不值得一提的挫折。

=======

突然迷惘的我，该如何是好呢? 下一个星期就要面临的考试，让我心慌意乱。英文，很难。美术历史，很难。*苦笑* 老天，救命!!

=======

今天又是一意孤行的一天。放学后， 一个人去了MidValley行街。本来，我的目的是去探索探索那里的美术文具店。但是，探索那间店后，突然很有逛街的feel。如果有个录影带录起来我一个人逛街的样子，恐怕会吓倒大家。因为，真的好像"痴线"的人。走走下，突然会踏brake，转身，进入店面。 @@ 走路就走好好嘛! == 别看我每天跟朋友出街，走路斯斯文文。。。 其实，我一个人逛街的时候是会feng来feng去的。傻婆一个! Pai seh。。本来很想很想买个东西，让自己爽一下。但是，。。。。没有一样东西是让我买的下手的。想换个钱包，但是，没有美的。想换个铅笔盒，但是，没有一个美的。想换个包包，但是，没有一个美的!!!!搞错! Urh。。。 *丧气*

回到家。。纳闷不已。 现在，得空到顶不顺! 去撞墙啦!!

Before I start anything, let me wish all my blog readers a very happy mid autumn festival!!!! Play tanglung till your tanglung burns ya! XD

So, what's about this week? Well, it was a plain lazy week for me. Lazy worms attacked me from Monday till .... yesterday? The worms are dying bits by bits today. So, I guess I will be kinda energetic tomorrow. Haha!! Hm.. So, October said hello to me. I have to say I was rather shocked! =.= The speed of time is too fast than I can't even feel it. By the time I realize that, I am already at another time space. Ghhh....

Just realized something when I chatted with one of my college mates. I have lotsa problems. But, I don't have time to solve them. And so, I chose to keep going on without looking back at those problems. Well, this sign can be both positive and negative as well. The positive side is that I don't keep myself pondering about the problems which is practically wasting my precious time. The negative side is that I left the problems unsolved. It's just like the case is closed when there's yet a conclusion for it. Hm... Let it be that way then. ^^

Speaking about observations, I had been observing peoples these days. Observing and analyzing at the same time. Hm... Human do change huh. Change in the speed of time. No one will realize it until you have changed to a state that you can't retain your originality anymore. Hm.. I find that really scary. Human's evolution... Such a long but drastic process. @@

Okay. So, overall, it's another AWESOME week! Things went on quite smoothly. KTM is being really kind to me this week. And, I met lotsa old schoolmates and tuition mates when I took KTM as well. Met with Yin Sian and April on dunno what day. Then, met Daniel and Alex on dunno what day. Met with Si Erng and Jarrod today. Then, surprising, met Kok Sang and Chew Wai in Pyramid today! @@ What a reunion! Haha!!

[music] I gotta feeling... That tonight's gonna be a good night..... ~~~~

Yeah! I feel great today. Kinda found the right technique to do still life painting. This week's painting is 100times better than last week's. I guess this is what they mean by "learn from mistakes". Painting is all about making mistake and correcting it when you realize that it is a mistake. ^^ Thanks to Lee Teng (My drawing lecturer la.. Not Lim Lee Teng from Cempaka k..) and Hieng Zhi. Hahak!

Have a look! ^^

Zoom on the lemon~

This week's assignment

That's all for today. (^>^)

I feel so unmotivated this week!! OMG! What had happened to me?

*piak*

I reached home at 8.30 today. I have no good reason for still not touching any of my stacking assignment when it's already 12.30 now! =.=!

Okay okay.. Work time.. Time to create my own font.. T..T

extracted from Yahoo. Oh my god.. I didn't know that I am typical Capricorn.. T..T

是一個有計劃的人在一定時間可以預定可達到什麼目標
較不憑感覺做事，而是實際去力行事情
喜歡社會地位，在社會高階層常可發現，但他的人生觀是從基層做起，結交朋友亦如此
脾氣古怪，做事較執著，少受左右，喜歡一人做事，且做事慢工出細活
不喜歡管別人的隱私，做事光明正大竭力樂於助人
深思謹慎，冷靜而準確的判斷力，予人沈穩而嚴肅的印象。有強烈的責任感和企圖心，時時鞭策自己努力實現理想。但是，凡事都太過認真，乃至拘泥，而顯得過於剛強，冥頑不靈。嚴謹刻板，穩重老成的星座。雖然他們一向給人呆板的印象，但是呆板的人普遍說來不太耍花樣；不管是在事業或愛情上，他們也都以這份特殊氣質獲勝！

魔羯座，是腳踏實地的人，他們一步接一步走向自己既定的目標。若是一般人也許就會放棄辛苦的工作，可是您卻毫無怨言，默默地完成任何艱辛的工作。 這類型的人對逆境有限強的忍耐力，無論處境如何艱難，無論挫折如何艱辛，他們都能在逆境繼續奮鬥。他們不會在口頭上堅持自己的主張，而是用實際的行動來傳達他們的意見。他們努力不懈，直到他人完全接受他們的建議。

魔羯座的人，對任何事都抱持著慎重的態度，他們不會有冒失、輕佻的行動出現。這種人對於那些沒有定性或行為不檢的人有嫌惡感，至於那些無視規則的人，他 們就更不願搭理了。 所以，中規中矩的魔羯座，都能獲得周圍的人之信賴。只要他們點頭答應的事，即使是『上刀山、下油鍋』，他們都會完成自己所承諾的事。 如前所述，魔羯座的人是沈默寡言的实践家， 他們這種個性很容易給人一種難以相處的印象。何況他們原就是極遵守規律的人，更會使人感覺其嚴肅的態度。所以一般而言，魔羯座的人，大多數都給人難以 接近的感覺。若想修正這種缺點，最好的方法就是活用多面的社交手腕，如此就能給人某種程度的親密感。 由於您有不改變自己的傾向，態度既保守又固執。他們這種性格容易把自己弄得鬱鬱不樂，這一來連帶的使他們的人生觀變得很悲觀。 但是，隱藏在冷淡又嚴肅的表面下，他們另外還有一顆充滿熱情的心，和天生的幽默感。他們所表現在外的行為雖然稍嫌死板，卻不失其迷人的魅力。他們強烈的自 我要求，和表現在外的自我約束，使他們看起來道貌岸然，令人敬畏三分。

Many of you might have forgotten who Shunza is or maybe many of you don't even know who the heck she is. Well, here's a song of hers which I highly recommend. Enjoy. ^^

As I was kind of lazy these days, I went and opened up my old files in my folder. Randomly, I found this piece of essay which was written for the sake of applying scholarships. Hm... This piece of essay sounds very unfamiliar yet familiar to me now. ==

/////////

My career vision is to be a graphic designer. Many people feel worried and anxious when they consider undertaking something rather challenging such as graphic design, for fear of making a mistake. This fear is just a sign of pessimism. In my opinion, challenges are where we found our rationalization and realization.I have a dream, and I am bringing it to reality! I have a plan, and I am making it a successful one! In fact, the expected challenges in the graphic design field is the force that pushes me to be more enthusiast in this field as I know there will be endless paths that can be taken within the field of graphic design to inspire change.

Besides that, I was rather obsessed by the fact that graphic design has the unique ability to reflect the culture of life. We can express our modernization and our society through colour, typography and style! There is so much terrain to cover. Graphics obviously can impact the way we think, act, and also the way we perceive the world better than what words can do.

Graphic design is always full of surprises. No matter how many times you say, “DONE!” you’re always forced to reevaluate. Each design is unique. You explore new ideas and new subjects, combing over the mysterious terrain. There’s so much ground to cover that it’s dizzying to realize how much is truly unmapped. Of course, nothing is perfect. As there’s always space for improvement, there will also be just enough room for errors to slip in.

I am struck by the realization that everything we design could be constructed in a hundred different ways; what matters most is the rationalization you put behind the work. Designers can argue all the day long over pointsize, colours, and papers with clients until they get their way, but if the idea itself is strong enough, it doesn’t matter if it’s blue or red.

The real fun begins when it comes to listening to feedback and finding ways to meet people’s demands while bearing in mind your own intentions. This is the point in the journey where I will find myself at the crossroads between commerce and compromise.

//////////

@@ I guess each time when I am about to fall, I shall take out this piece of essay and read it all over again. I shall never forget my passion towards this career. Passion shall not fade~~