Miss Sunshine Says

Days aren't as great as I wanted.

Have you ever felt that even though that you know that you can't change the fact, but you just wish to change it. Finally, things do no work out and your heart is scattered.

Firstly, I know that I cannot compare myself with other people. Or I should say, I MUST NOT COMPARE MYSELF WITH OTHERS. I don't even have the right to do so. But, each time I see my friends hanging out together or each time my best friends wishing that I could go out with them, my heart truly aches. Yesterday, one of my friends asked me if I can watch movie together. I know I can't! It wasn't the first time already. I am always grounded and I am always learning to get used to fact that I have no freedom. And yeah, many of my friends too said, after SPM then we can hang out together already. But,..... there were many nights that I covered myself in the blanket and cried, wondering if I can keep all the promises. My sister, who is already 22 years old, does not have the freedom to hang out with friends. What about me? I seriously don't know how to reply my friends when they started to say, "Tell your mom that you need to relax.." , "Tell your mom I belanja wan k.. You have no need to spend money..", "Tell your mom that it will only take a few hours.. " . Sorry guys. I hope you guys will not feel disappointed even if after SPM I am still grounded at home.
(Looking at the pictures without my face in it is making the wound goes deeper)

Secondly, friends. This one, I should say, I am so confused. She can be so nice to me in a few days as though we were best friends for centuries. But, after a few weeks, she treated me so coldly, with no reasons. During her saddest time, I was there for her. But, after she got rid of those sad stuff, she doesn't seem to bother about my existence anymore. I am confused by her action. This confusion made me uncertained each time I see her. Even if she talked to me, I would start wondering, was she caring or was she just faking? *sigh*

Thirdly, money. I do not wanna reveal my allowance per month here. True friends will definitely know that. I am seriously suffering. With that amount of money, I gotta spend on buying gifts for friends on their birthdays. Sometimes, when I need to get something for myself, like stationeries, books, or albums, I have to use my own allowance to pay for it. When it comes to the end of the month, I will have a little of money left, or sometimes, I don't even have a cent left. And just now, my mom said, since I have one-week holidays, she wanted to deduct my allowance. I immediately broke down and cried! I can't take it anymore.. Each time I hear my friends telling me how many hundreds have they used, I could feel an arrow piercing through my heart. Because, I know it is really hard to earn money! Besides, seeing them talking about how they get things that they love is making me feel inferior.

Today is the shooting day regarding my sister's graduation.

The ladies, including me, went to one of my mother's friends house to do make-up. Hm.. Guess what.. Gan Wan Chean(Astro Star Quest 2008 Champion) and Xiao Mei (Astro Star Quest 2008 Top 6) were there too. They have overnight in that Auntie's house.

And so,... I definitely would grab the chance to snap some pictures with them.

Well...

You,..

who named yourself as "friend" is just as idiot as all the other guys.

You know why...

Cos you don't even dare to reveal yourself. Hell cares who the hell you are now.

It's okay to comment on my new hairstyle. I am always open-minded enough to listen feedback from all the human being. Let me emphasize again.. "FROM ALL HUMAN BEING" So, you know what I am telling you indirectly?

Okay..

Lemme speak about my hair.

See..

I permed my hair, for the sake of changes. Hell cares whether it looks like a piece of shit, or it becomes the "laughing stock" of everyone. I like it then can d la! Remember human! We live in the world because we feel that we are worth living. I live for myself, not to satisfy the others. I live for myself, not to satisfy your vision...

Awh... You guys feel that my hair like AH SO? Wuhoo.. Forgot to tell you guys, my nick name is Ah Ma (Mother). I am a mother of two daughters and one son. So, continue to call me ah so lo. I won't get angry of you also. ^_^

My hair looks like this??

LOL!!

You guys really have pathetic comparison. It doesn't make sense at all man.








<<< See..After one month, my hair will look like this. Cantik or not... That time get jealous when you get to see how cantik I look k.. Blueks! ;p








































Tengok... Ah So where got so cute de le.. *bhb*

What a coincidence.. My sis and her bf,Danny saw Jason in Midvalley today!!

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, Danny asked him whether if he knows Joe Jian...

Guess what? He said "OH! "

lol...

lalalalala

He remembers me!!

And that RM1 note.... is my birthday present.. =_="

What a deal...

I seriously don't want my blog to look depressing.

But, I am seriously depressed.

You must be thinking it's must be examinations that made me like this.

How I wish it is all because of exams. Therefore, when the examinations are all over, the depressing problems will all be gone.

But,

but,...

It seriously has nothing to do with examinations.

I can't really say it out loud here the reasons that made me feel so down. There were just too many.

*sigh*

Sometimes I feel, I have always worked too hard on friendships. In fact, there were just too many cases where people disappointed me. Most of the time, I will desolate myself in the room and start wondering, "Was it me that make the others feel unhappy with.." Till now, the question will still play in my mind. No matter how cheerful and optimistic I can be, in the end, I will still drown myself in these few words.

Sad that everything that was done was all done.

Sad that I can never turn the clock to the past and alter changes, not even a little!

P/S:Tomorrow will be the Chemistry Paper 3's turn. I know I have lots of time to study. But, look at me! It's already 11.11pm. Yet, I have not started revising. God Bless Me..

How much I hope I could turn the clock back to 12.30p.m.

At least, I will be able to answer the essay question for plants.

It was all my mistake for not reading the instructions.

I thought the essay questions are broken into two parts; section B and section C. I thought...

And I did not really know how to answer question 8 and question 9.

But, I thought, I have no choice but to choose either question 8 or question 9.

When I managed to read the instructions again, it was already too late.

I could actually answer question 6 and question 7.

When I looked back my Biology book, I realized that most of the things that I wrote for Question 9 are CRAPS! Which means, I don't gain any marks there.

Tomorrow will be Chemistry.

Hopefully I can do well...

*another sleepless night...*

Today is whose birthday??

Yours?

Mine?

Nah...

It's Royce's birthday!!

Will be attending his birthday party tomorrow!!!!

And you will see something different in me!

Chaoz

I had my longest day today.

Imagine yourself doing exam with heavy shoulder as if you were carrying 500kg weight, backache which made you can't even sit up straight, painful eyes as you only slept for 2 hours and sleepy brain.

*speechless*

My mom suggested to let me have my hair permed. Ooo... I am in dilemma now. To perm or not to perm? She said my hairstyle is so "dead". And as my family is going to have a photograph session next week, she wants my hair to be "IN" a bit wor.. sigh.. I am afraid that my hair will be spoiled! So how? Hm....

I couldn't remember how many years have I not celebrate Lantern Festival..

Yesterday, my relatives came to my house to have "Lantern Night".

We had our steamboat dinner at home. Yummy delicious soup made by Mom.

Then, the kids kept bugging me to allow them to play candles and lantern. *sigh* I was watching Lee Chong Wei in AEC leh... In the end, I have to teman them to play. =_=". I missed some of the parts ler.. Sobs sobs..

Have you ever discovered this?




Out of curiousity----hehe!

How sure you are that you will be close to a person for long?

How sure you are that you can tolerate your friends?

How sure you are that the person who you care so much do not feel the same as you?

Since Form 1, there are just too many unexpected changes in my life. Even though I used to be close to someone, finally, that person might end up not so close to me. And there are also certain situations like, we used to be very close, then suddenly not so close. After a few years, we become closer that before.

I would like to say to all these friends, even if there are times that I don't really agree with you, I don't hate you. I seriously don't. In my heart, you are still the kind soul as long as you don't do crime! Haha!!

Hm.. Don't mind me expressing my love you a few specific friends of mine.

To my dearest Jo Lin- Even though you are the lamest of all among the "Retards", I still love you lots lots. I will always miss you!

To Audrey- You always do things that I disagree with. But, you know I always forgive! That's why you never mind making me angry at times ! Haha!!

To Sherene- 11 years is not a short journey. I hope that our friendship has no end！

To Soon Teck- You look like a serious person at first. But, after knowing you for quite a long time, you become more friendly that what I had expected. Maybe you don't realize the changes. But I do! Haha.. Thanks for being such a ..... uhm.. weird one in my Form 5 life.. =)

Gtg tuition d lor!!

Chaoz..

*love*

I bought another album!!

Hins- Urban Emotions

Five star rated album!!!

I REALLY NEED FEEDBACKS! Whoever who drops by my blog, please leave comment in the CBOX.. Your feedbacks are most appreciated..

=)

It's September the second today.

This date is a date that I will not forget. In fact, the alarm in my brain will automatically remind me of the importance of this date.

It's Stella's birthday today.

And Stella,....... I wonder how's her life now. Is she somewhere around me, or is she having a better life in another world? *sigh*

May God bless Stella Chng always.

*hugs*

*kisses*

Yay yay!! Finally the album is mine!!

credits to-www.stickgal.blogspot.com

I would rather say that I am thankful to God. All these while, when I really do have to make a decision, the right senses will always come right on time.

It was in the July; when you said that you want me back. You were the one who gave me the ups and the downs in the past. I was in love with you. But for now, my heart tells me, I love you no more. The deeply ingrained love was the past. I remember the past, and so, I will not repeat the same mistake again.

Something told me that you were just trying to release your anger. But I wasn't the one who made you angry. It was another girl.If I were to accept you in that afternoon, I was stupid. And so do you. I have my right to be angry of you. There's no way you can take me as the item to make her jealous. I am a human-being, not a "thing". However, I chose to forgive and forget. You must be totally out of sane when you were doing that. It's normal to do something abnormal when you are crazily in love with someone.

p/s: Don't be mad at me after you read this =)