Miss Sunshine Says

I have been living in the lost world for quite some time, keep figuring out what the hell am I doing in a creative school. Am I really creative or what? Sometimes, I just see myself producing more rubbish rather than contributing something good to the world. And the reason I only managed to produce more rubbish is because I really suck.

Hm... But, looking at my past works, those works aren't really sucks though. They are just pretty normal. Nothing special. Sien. Looking at many creative people's work in the creative industry, it just make me feel that I am just living in a cage. People outside there have been making so many break away from the norm. And that is what they call "creativity". And I am just another "skillful technician". Oh~ Sien d~~

I have a dream.

To be doing something I like, I wish, and I can. As simple as possible as I am pretty not good in complicated stuff. I don't want to work from morning till morning. I don't wanna sit in front of the computer for days and nights. I don't really need to be a filthy rich designer.

All I want is just to be an.....

unique designer?

Well, everyone knows that to climb over the fence is something that requires a lot of courage and sensitivity.

I think, I am still not courageous enough to climb over the fence now.

I will have my time in future perhaps~

Perhaps....

I wished be a little more handsome~ XD

Can I?

Yep~

I shall just be mentally retarded for once~

People around me still continues to bullshit about me when they know nothing but just hearing from one party. Ah~ Do they still not know it is really bad to judge people based one what one party says? Well, I don't expect everyone to be in my shoes and understand what shit I am doing. But, at least, "do research" before you could even judge me. Haven't I had enough consideration before I decide on something? I did make things clear previously. I did voice out my opinion; not directly on your face of course but through my blog. Another thing is that, I did do my job as a leader. I DID, I DID, I DID distribute jobs to other group members to do work. Do I need to record every single word I said to make them my evidence when someone starts pointing finger at me and say that I am a bad leader? I never even dare to judge my members "lazy" as I knew that I know nothing. I am afraid that I might just make wrong assumptions and end up with more conflicts. I considered so much that I don't even dare to give pressure to members who are holy stressed-up with other subjects. And I am still a bad leader who makes people dulan.

And you think I deserve all this?

Yes?

No?

Nah~ Who are you to think whether I deserve all this or not? You don't even know what's the truth.

Let it be what it should be. After all, it's just another human thing. Human are born to make mistake. I am not here to blame anyone. I am here to stop the blaming. Can you please approach me and talk to me if you are damn bloody dulan with me? At least, I can let you know the truth. Stop living in misunderstandings please~

First, I will love myself a lot. I love myself being so hardworking, having all my works done, reading like a nerd, exploring like an adventurer, waking up early like a good girl does,........

After a few weeks being so in love with myself, I will become lazy again. I can't stop but to keep on procrastinating here and there. I can't even read as I feel sleepy each time I start to read. I can't wake up as early as I used to. I don't even feel like refining my almost-done work as I am so damn bloody lazy.

This is what's happening on me right now. I am not sure whether if it's just plain PMS(Ahh.. Girls' thing.. =.="), or the fact is that I have lost passion, or I am just so in the mood of holiday(CNY is so soon. And I only got myself two tops. *pissed*), or I am just madly in love.

Blahhh....Why am I wasting my precious time?

Back to work. Byes~

那个人不一定是你的情人。

他可以是普通朋友，家人，老师，或是什么的。。。。。

身边的朋友其实说多不多，说少不少。可是，就是有几个我特别喜欢的。就算每天聊些有的没的，无聊透顶的话题，感觉还是很不错。一个人的时候，偶尔会想起那个他。虽然说不上是什么要好到不行的关系，但是，相处时，没有怀疑，。。。那就是纯纯的友情。

我说，

我很珍惜这样的关系。

很珍惜这些朋友~

^^