Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
09 April 2010
Some people think that being desperate to get something can be a great motivation to move on. In my point of view, it's not. Being desperate is pathetic. Most people lose their senses when they are desperate. And you wouldn't want to know what the others think about people who lose their senses. The answer is so true but so vicious.
I am not trying to turn people's hope down. You can hope for something. You can wish that your dream might come true someday. But, being so desperate to own something/someone is.... forlorn! And when the desperations turn into nothing, there comes the blames. See. Now it's not forlorn. It's hopeless.
My advice, keep dreaming like everyone does, but, don't be desperate. =)
I never halt people from doing the things they want.
All I do is just agreeing things that I pro and disagreeing things that I anti.
I guess everyone has their rights to be any kind of human they want for as long as it's not a crime. Well well. I admit that I dislike la-las and si-hams. (Malaysians, you know what I mean right?) But, I don't think it's right to anti them. Alarhh... They are just less fashion-conscious. What's a big deal about it right? Just let them be. The participation of hatred in this issue still sounds a little illogic to me. I won't bother to hate things that have nothing to do with me. My time is scheduled for better things rather than hating.
Wahaha.. See! I crap again. I just enjoy jotting down the bits and pieces in my mind.
No doubt. I had made my decision and opinion clear. So clear that all human being who understand Mandarin and English should understand. Maybe you're the exception because you just don't understand.
You wouldn't want to know how many personalities are there in me. There's only a single me physically, but there is an infinity divisions of me mentally. And, it will take you centuries to understand it. I never blame you for thinking that you actually have a chance. Maybe you think I am the typical girl that you see from Taiwan and Korean drama. No, I am not. If I were making a decision, I must have gone through a lot of considerations. I didn't decide a thing for nothing. Definitely I am firmed enough with my decision before I let you know about it.
One thing about me is, I'll never look back. Once I let it go, it's gone. And it will never come back. It's impossible for it to come back.Yes, I am mean! I admit that. But that's me. You have your right to love and to hate. But, I am trying to help you out. You are leading yourself into a situation that will not bring any good to you and me. There's no point keep holding it tight, so tight that even you yourself are being tied up by yourself. You said you understand about time and space. I say you don't. You are just saying it for the sake of saying. I am serious about this. You really gotta stop thinking that there might be a 0.000001% of chance. I just don't worth your precious time. I am moving on with my brand new life and I am doing so fine with it. Why do you have to stand still on the same point? Don't you move on? Can't you get a life? And most importantly is, can't you live for yourself? Why are you living for others? You own your life! Why do you let someone to take control of your own life? My gawd! By torturing yourself in this way makes you feel good, is it so?
Please. Please. Please. Wake up. Your mere hope is not going to bring you to anywhere. Let bygones be bygones. Okay? This is really really my last time making my words clear. If you still don't get it, I am speechless. Speechless as in... I really have nothing to say to you anymore. It's the end.
04 April 2010
Still mere?
Yeah. It still seemed to be a mere chance to me. But thanks to God, I manage to make it through.
=)
Photos will be uploaded tomorrow. ^^
It is a mere chance.
I grab it, and run with it to the end point.
Whether it's a win or a loss, what it matters most is I did put my effort to reach the end point.
AHHH... Miss Sunshine! PLEASE GO TO SLEEP!!
03 April 2010
Can anyone tell me the ways to cure the affliction in me right now?
*sigh*
29 March 2010
Whoops! Finally I have the "ohm" to update about my third semester in The One Academy. Hehe.. So, what's about this short semester? Here we go.
First of all, this is the semester I got into my major which is Advertising and Graphic Design. Well, the only thing that is uniquely different from other major is Computer Graphic Design 3 where the students are exposed to Adobe Indesign (A program for magazine publishing). It can be quite boring if you hate things being so organized. This subject is fine to me. But I bet I won't end up in a magazine publishing field in the future. It's not the thing I am really passionate about.
Then, we have Visual Communication where we are pushed to think. In my opinion, this subject is very psychological. Very. It's like playing with human's mind. We are assigned to bring out the message(any possible message) through visual graphics. It's really tough. The very common thing said for this subject is "what you understand does not equal to what others understand". Pek chek right? Bzzz....
We also have this very very interesting subject- Culture and Society in Malaysia. We had a hard time at first. But our lecturer, Marion was too awesome that you can't help but to concentrate in her class. I have already mentioned about her in my older post. So I won't touch much on this.
Next is Figure Studies 3. Hm.. Relaxing enough for me. All I need is just constantly drawing. Now I know how to draw multiple people in a piece of drawing. How amazing it that! =D
Then, we have this Language and Communication Skills 3-Drama. Fuhh!! This subject makes us sleepless+restless. But it's okay as at the same time, we had lotsa fun. Now I know how good actors act. It's really hard to forget everything about yourself and get into another character which may not be you at all. Trust me. IT'S HARD! Haha. And yeah. I gained a lot from this subject too, in the sense of time management, team work and creativity of course. See, we are given one week only to think of a story and act. And the drama has to be about 10-20 mins. Fiuyoh!! Thank god it's all over now. Heehee~~
The most torturous subject goes to....... Perspective studies!! I bet every single human being in my class agrees with this. Right, right? Pfthh... It's the subject that will make you feel like as though your brain are blended into cream due to extremum stress! But, but, but.... Okay lah! I still manage to do averagely good in this subject. So, IT'S OKAY! =D
Speaking about friendship, I am still very closely attached to my dearies- Fish cake and Wei Ting. And now I have Wei Shin and Sin Wei who are always in my group for group works. Many new classmates in the brand new class-AD0905-1. I got to know many of those that I don't know in the past. It's my pleasure to be in the same class with them. And not to forget my friends who are in other majors- Ah Liang, Wen Kang, Yu Jing,... (to many to be listed). I'm glad that we're still so close. Or I should say we are even closer now? Hehe!
That's all about this semester. Ahh.. So relaxing. ^^
Ah! So what's about the happy thing? Heehee. Well, I was just trying to spread my happiness to everyone.
Oh ya! People! I am extremely excited right now. I am going to join the shoe design competition in the coming Sunday at PWTC. Uhh... This will be my first competition for this year. I am not expecting much of course. Just wanna have fun especially when I am so damn free right now. It's really a big surprise receiving phone calls from my lecturer- Chow Ping. Thanks to Chow Ping for giving me such a chance. ^^
Aside from that, my mom brought me to fabric shop today. DAMN! I guess my over excitement shocked the workers of the fabric shop a little. *heehee* Those pretty fabrics really drove me crazy! Imagine you saw the same fabric selling at the price RM60/meter online is selling only at RM18/meter. For god sake! Btw, my mom was shocked by my reaction too. Haha! Sorry mummy!! I can't tahan myself but to buy buy buy. I finally bought my polka dots fabric and two more beautiful printed Japanese cotton fabric. I can't hide my smile anymore!!
People! Do you love my new blog face????? I love it so much. Simple and sweet. I have been seeking for something that I like for so so so so so so long. Finally I found something just perfect for me this aftie! I said goodbye to my previous blog face (sorry..) because the blog makes me feel very intense (I can't explain this). So, now I change it to something brighter. Hopefully my blog readers feel light and happy when reading my blog. ^_^
p/s: More sewing projects are coming up! But I am going to stop for this week. Gotta get prepared with my design competition stuff. ^^
24 March 2010
What's taking my breath away? Damn. I just couldn't figure out how my life could end up as dramatic as this. Why would I have so many feelings mixed up like a bowl of rojak everyday? In the morning, I will be happy as I usually get to see my college friends in the morning. In the afternoon or evening, I will most probably be very down. Maybe because I will usually be sleepy at that time, or I don't feel like doing anything. I am just emo. =.=" When it is about midnight, HAHA! That's the time I will be fully awake and feel so energetic to do my stuff. Things just go on and on like this everyday. And you know what? Those ups and downs are the extreme ones. When I am down, I will be so so down that I feel like crying(for nothing?). And when I am excited, I can do anything crazy. Who cares it is in the middle of the night or what? =P
Well, recently, the interest to sewing is growing little by little( more and more). Gawd! Can you imagine that? It was so hard for me to stop sewing so that I can get into my bed. Yesterday night(almost morning) was a big torture for me. I didn't want to sleep cos I was in the progress of making something for my friend and I can't wait to give her as soon as I can. But, yikes! I am not that kind of people who can survive without sleep. I need at least 3-4 hours sleep. 0 hour of sleep will make me faint on the next day. =X So, I pushed myself to go to bed by 3 plus. But, I couldn't sleep! And the reason is I can't stop thinking about sewing. This is insane! If only I can love someone as crazy as that, my relationship life would be much better. (==)
Oh ya! I just joined a giveaway in one of my sister's friends'(Li Voon) blog click here. She does many sewing too. Do feel free to drop by her blog! You can join the giveaway too if you are a big fan of sewing too~ Even if you are not, you can join in and win it for me too. =D!!!
That's all for now. Might be updating my first handcraft tonight. See ya!!
16 March 2010
我不够认份所以怕再为谁作出牺牲爱要有天份所以我始终学不会放任我不够天真不允许我傻傻的等对自己残忍多残忍我要有分寸我太过认真所以才相信所谓的永恒爱让人恍神所以止不住不小心沉沦我太负责任不允许有太多悔恨对自己坦诚多坦诚我自有分寸我只是无辜的人很需要叹气声有一些文字的吻只留给伤过的人明知道有些问题没有答案还是要问原谅我因为我就是这样的女生
I have no choice
but to be extremely optimistic.
That's the only way I could survive.
11 March 2010
最近大家都累了。
大概是受了点影响, 自己也从累的阶段，跳去非常累的阶段。
可能是我的期待太大了。所以，当我得不到我所期待的，我难免会很失望。但是，每次重复提醒自己不能冲动做出任何决定。所以，我一直在等，等待着那个不懂会否出现的浪漫与感动。等啊等，等啊等，。。。我依然没有感动过。
我很累。每次的小小期待依然被毁灭。没有惊喜的日子实在很难过。难过到我想逃避。因为，逃避的时候，我反而找到更真实的我。
我不配爱，也不配被爱。
还记得那段刻骨铭心的感情。那时候的我，爱得天马行空。虽然最后那段感情并没有开花结果，但我不曾后悔曾经如此深爱一个人。
现在，我难过的是我找不回那种感觉了。也许是我的心麻了。或许是我厌倦了。也或许是我太任性了。
我还在等。。
等不下去时候，我就会放手了。
请原谅我的放纵与任性。
08 March 2010
To learn how to sew with a sewing machine.. =D
07 March 2010
Once, I read a book. It says that, every human must have something that they are obsessed of in order to live a happy life. At that time, I was blank. I couldn't think of anything that I am obsessed of. I only know I like something. But I didn't have anything that I am really crazy after. I carried on with my life, starting to search things that I am truly in love with.
As time passes by, I realized the little things about myself. Something like a discovery of myself. I found out that there are so many things I am obsessed of! And those things can make me excited the whole day. They make me happy and desperate at the same time. Most important, they inspire me! Inspirations come from the things that could give impact to ourselves. They doesn't have to be very relevant to the designs or drawings that we want to do. But as long as they make our blood rush in excitement in the body, we eventually have the passion to do something else. Here I am to share with my dear readers part of the things that I am so obsessed of recently.
SHOES!!! I scream when I see them!! XD!! They are all imported from Korea. I wonder how they make such beautiful shoes... AWWWW....
The coolest one! =D
Next is, ...............Fabrics!!!!!!!!! All made in Japan.
02 March 2010
Just realized I have not been updating my blog for quite some time. I have been going through tough days as finals are all around. When I could hold my pen and cut off the subjects that are finally over, it is weird that I actually felt very heavy. Especially subject like Culture and Society in Malaysia. My lecturer, Marion can said to be a superwoman who made me realized how "non-Malaysian" I am as I know nothing about this country. She forces all her student to think in-depth, not just the surface. Her words just seem to be my mantra of life throughout this semester. ( I don't know about what will happen on the coming semesters) Today was the last day of her lecture. I bet she will remain as the best memory in my college life.
Bee Lian, Marion and I.
Thanks to the most passionate one, Miss Marion D' Cruz.
*****
Life goes on and on and on and on... Everything will somehow end up fine only if we don't turn it off. I personally dislike people who constantly brainwash themselves that they are useless or they have no chance or they will never do well or keep expecting the coming days to be horrible ones. I mean, it's normal that life has ups and downs. But if we just make a big fuss about the small matter, yeah..Our life will definitely sucks! Well, I truly love to mix with people who are always optimistic. They somehow make me feel that my tomorrow will definitely be a better day. Even if it is not, at least, I had truly enjoy the moment of expecting for the best before the saddening part happened. ^^
21 February 2010
Do you have the feeling that you are doing something just because you have to do it, not because you actually love it?
I have been living in the lost world for quite some time, keep figuring out what the hell am I doing in a creative school. Am I really creative or what? Sometimes, I just see myself producing more rubbish rather than contributing something good to the world. And the reason I only managed to produce more rubbish is because I really suck.
Hm... But, looking at my past works, those works aren't really sucks though. They are just pretty normal. Nothing special. Sien. Looking at many creative people's work in the creative industry, it just make me feel that I am just living in a cage. People outside there have been making so many break away from the norm. And that is what they call "creativity". And I am just another "skillful technician". Oh~ Sien d~~
I have a dream.
To be doing something I like, I wish, and I can. As simple as possible as I am pretty not good in complicated stuff. I don't want to work from morning till morning. I don't wanna sit in front of the computer for days and nights. I don't really need to be a filthy rich designer.
All I want is just to be an.....
unique designer?
Well, everyone knows that to climb over the fence is something that requires a lot of courage and sensitivity.
I think, I am still not courageous enough to climb over the fence now.
I will have my time in future perhaps~
Perhaps....
17 February 2010
I wished be a little more handsome~ XD
Can I?
12 February 2010
I must be suffering from insanity amentia. No more capacity available for any intelligence due to lack of brain tissue.
Yep~
I shall just be mentally retarded for once~
11 February 2010
My life is full of discovery. Everyday seems to be another discovery of truths. And truths are usually cruel, unless you are already numbed to it. I am not numb, not yet. But, the cruelty of the truth were not strong enough to fear me off as I am stronger now.
People around me still continues to bullshit about me when they know nothing but just hearing from one party. Ah~ Do they still not know it is really bad to judge people based one what one party says? Well, I don't expect everyone to be in my shoes and understand what shit I am doing. But, at least, "do research" before you could even judge me. Haven't I had enough consideration before I decide on something? I did make things clear previously. I did voice out my opinion; not directly on your face of course but through my blog. Another thing is that, I did do my job as a leader. I DID, I DID, I DID distribute jobs to other group members to do work. Do I need to record every single word I said to make them my evidence when someone starts pointing finger at me and say that I am a bad leader? I never even dare to judge my members "lazy" as I knew that I know nothing. I am afraid that I might just make wrong assumptions and end up with more conflicts. I considered so much that I don't even dare to give pressure to members who are holy stressed-up with other subjects. And I am still a bad leader who makes people dulan.
And you think I deserve all this?
Yes?
No?
Nah~ Who are you to think whether I deserve all this or not? You don't even know what's the truth.
Let it be what it should be. After all, it's just another human thing. Human are born to make mistake. I am not here to blame anyone. I am here to stop the blaming. Can you please approach me and talk to me if you are damn bloody dulan with me? At least, I can let you know the truth. Stop living in misunderstandings please~
07 February 2010
There's one thing, ONE THING that I really hate most about myself.
First, I will love myself a lot. I love myself being so hardworking, having all my works done, reading like a nerd, exploring like an adventurer, waking up early like a good girl does,........
After a few weeks being so in love with myself, I will become lazy again. I can't stop but to keep on procrastinating here and there. I can't even read as I feel sleepy each time I start to read. I can't wake up as early as I used to. I don't even feel like refining my almost-done work as I am so damn bloody lazy.
This is what's happening on me right now. I am not sure whether if it's just plain PMS(Ahh.. Girls' thing.. =.="), or the fact is that I have lost passion, or I am just so in the mood of holiday(CNY is so soon. And I only got myself two tops. *pissed*), or I am just madly in love.
Blahhh....Why am I wasting my precious time?
Back to work. Byes~
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